He and It

He wiped the corners of his mouth with the back of his hand and studied the canvas in front of him carefully. The woman's face has begun to take shape, but the contrast between light and dark is still lacking...

Xie Ning mixed some more lemon yellow and sap green colors. He pressed a little on the skin and pushed it away to compare the colors on the canvas. He felt that it was almost the same, so he slowly swiped it on.

In the dark brown and olive brown background, there seems to be a steady and dim light, covering the oval-shaped face of the woman in the painting. Her eyes were hidden in the darkness, and her lips were hidden in the darkness. Only the halo of light on the side cheeks and the tip of her nose gave her a feather-like soft and tranquil expression, as if she was smiling slightly.

There has been progress. The brushstrokes and techniques used to process the pictures are much more natural than the previous ones. Xie Ning's eyebrows relaxed, and her mood was like a thin yellow leaf, smoothly carried far away by the breeze.

The young man stopped writing with satisfaction and moved his sore wrist. He looked at his picture, looking left and right. Gradually, his eyes couldn't help but sneak up to the upper corner, like an uncontrollable puppy.

From where he sat, he could just see half of the painting derived from the same photo. The girl who was painting had her long black hair tied up, her sleeves tied up, and there were a few random streaks of blue and purple on her arms. She was turning pens in the palette while laughing and chatting with the people around her.

The wind stopped, and the leaves in Xie Ning's heart slowly fell to the ground and floated around the pond.

The same courses, the same teacher, and the assignments are naturally the same. The girl painted the same reference image as him, but she boldly chose dark blue and purple. On her canvas, the woman's frozen pupils were like two night stars passing through the thick sky. ——Startled, stiff, frightened, even dazzling.

There are many subtle and tortuous emotions, and a complicated and unspeakable atmosphere. Everyone else was painting a person, but she was the only one who painted a painful person.

Xie Ning took a deep breath, and the flames burned his eyes. He should have turned away his eyes as if he was burned, but he forced himself to look, looking at it embarrassingly and greedily.

"I bought it back, your chicken soup wontons!" the roommate said carelessly, "There are not many people in the cafeteria, so I asked the boss to put two more spoons of shrimp for you... yo!"

The roommate bent down and looked at his painting in amazement: "Okay, Xie Xiaoning, you've made great progress, don't do it anymore, don't do it anymore, leave a way for others to survive."

He made fun of this, but saw no reply from Xie Ning. He couldn't help but raise his head and look in the direction of Xie Ning's gaze.

The roommate didn't say anything either. He stared for a while and sighed.

"You are a little genius," he shrugged. "God has enough food for you to eat, but mortals like me can't do it..."

He nudged Xie Ning with his elbow, "Stop looking and eat first. Your junk food won't fill your stomach. Hurry."

Hearing his words, Xie Ning felt like there was a hot coal in his stomach. He forced a smile and whispered: "Thank you, I will transfer the money to you later."

They made do with dinner in the studio, and waited until half an hour before the dormitory door was to be locked before they got up to move around and pack up their painting equipment.

Xie Ning was a little listless. After filling her stomach, she couldn't make much progress. It was windy at night, so they wrapped their coats and walked back along the path calmly.

"What's wrong with you?" asked my roommate, "You were already wilting when I saw you, and your family called you again to urge you?"

Xie Ning twitched the corner of her mouth, but failed.

"No," he said in a low voice, "My family... kept pushing me, but I didn't really put a lot of pressure on me."

"Yes," the roommate nodded, "In the field of pure arts, it is already difficult to find employment. We are only juniors, so what's the use of urging... What's the matter with you?"

Xie Ning smiled bitterly and said vaguely: "It's just... I just saw He Muyao..."

"Little genius?" The roommate was shocked, "Why, you, you don't have a crush on her, do you?"

Xie Ning: "..."

Xie Ning's face was expressionless: "First of all, I am a gay man."

"I was just kidding," the roommate winced, "I know you can't have a crush on her. So what's wrong?"

"She draws so well," Xie Ning said softly, "I'm very envious... of her talent."

To describe his emotion as envy would be an understatement. That kind of intense anxiety and unwillingness converged into endless irritability, like a snake full of venom, entangled in his heart, opening his mouth from time to time, it would burn his mind.

Jealousy, he said in his mind, I'm jealous of her, and people like her.

"Hi," the roommate waved, "What's the matter? I'm envious of it too. She's about to graduate and will definitely not go to Yiwu to paint and copy oil paintings. Plus, she's the professor's favorite student. After a little work, she said Maybe I will go to the gallery circle in the capital to develop."

"I..." Xie Ning opened her mouth, "I just can't stand this."

The roommate did not speak. He carefully considered his words: "My family...you know, since I was a child, my family has never asked me to do anything. I have never cooked once. My grandparents take care of the housework. They My only hope is that I can study hard, get into a good university, find a good job after graduation, and live a life without worries about food and clothing..."

The evening breeze blew, Xie Ning sniffed and said: "Later, I really liked painting and didn't like reading. Although they were disappointed, they also supported me to take the art exam. My sexual orientation is like this. Anyway, I can't do it in the future. Those who get married and have children. Going to college disappoints them, getting married and having children disappoints them, and then what? Am I going to repay them with this ability that is neither high nor low?"

The roommate sighed: "You can't think like that, life is for you."

"I really envy talented people," Xie Ning murmured, "I always thought, when can I confess to my family? Then I figured it out, let alone success, at least I have to wait until I have financial freedom and can improve my family's life. When I go to the next floor, right? This way, I will feel more confident."

"Isn't this a redemption ticket?" the roommate hit the nail on the head, "You want to use your success to redeem the forgiveness of your family."

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