How To Live As A Writer In A Fantasy World

572 – Holes (3)

As far as I can remember, my parents died not long after entering university.

The cause of the accident is unknown. I don’t even want to remember it, because it was the most despairing memory in my previous life.

My parents gave me infinite love as an only child, and I also gave them love.

But I didn’t know exactly ‘how’. I just knew it that way.

And the result of the love I gave to my parents for the first time, or ‘filial piety’, was unfolded right in front of my eyes.

“Do you have any relatives?”

“I heard that neither of you have any children. Although they do have children…”

“Oh no. How did this happen…”

“The ship accident that happened in Paris. The victim of that accident.”

Father and mother have no parents, let alone siblings. So, people I know came to me.

Funerals are usually noisy on the first day. My parents also have wide feet, so it was no different from any other funeral.

But I wasn’t I was sitting blankly in front of a picture of my parents smiling brightly.

His beard and greasy hair grew dark because he didn’t wash or take care of himself for several days.

mourning clothes worn loosely. Armbands, representing blood and blood, were attached to his arms.

“Yoo Hwan.”

“······”

“Hwan Yoo. Do you remember Auntie? My mother’s friend.”

Relatives who were usually face-to-face. Friends who have never been apart since childhood.

They called me, but I was unsteady. I just stare at the pictures of my parents smiling endlessly.

Neighbors also moved away from me, probably realizing the seriousness of my condition. My friends also left with worried eyes.

He didn’t even bow, which was part of the funeral. It didn’t matter if condolence money accumulated or not. I didn’t even turn my head when someone touched me.

It was just… everything was unreal. My parents, who gave me a bright smile until they left, are no longer by my side.

Didn’t accept. no, i didn’t accept it. That’s right, because the trip for filial piety drove them to death.

“······”

The evening when everyone left. Exhausted as my mind and body were exhausted, I lay down to close my eyes.

The loneliness of having no relatives or even blood relatives. I kept hearing the laughter of my parents in my head.

[thanks. my son.]

[Thanks to having a good son, I enjoy this luxury.]

It reminds me of my parents right before they left for a trip. They smiled happier than anyone else and generously gave love.

Whereas me? It wasn’t filial piety, but he committed the worst filial piety in history. That guilt gnawed at my spirit little by little.

If we had all gone together, I wouldn’t have felt this way. If I had looked elsewhere, this would not have happened.

I had no desire to curse the government or God. I felt empty, as if there was a hole in my chest.

“mom and dad······”

who said Even adults are someone’s children after all.

I am no different. However, the problem was that I realized the importance of my parents too early.

He was the happiest young man in the world because he was so ordinary. A person who was content with the present and enjoying life in a society full of dissatisfaction.

The parents, who were the center of it, returned as cold corpses in one day. That’s also from the trip that I spent halfway pushing my back for filial piety.

Is it really a psychological shock that ordinary people can handle? I can say no.

“······want to go home.”

A murmur with many meanings. I think you can infer my feelings with just that one word.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been staring at my parents’ pictures all day. My eyes slowly started to close.

You must be thinking that if you close your eyes and open them, everything will return to normal.

That would never happen, though.

“······work.”

“······”

“Isaac.”

“Uh, huh?”

As I gazed at the unexpected truth far away, a familiar voice pierced my ears.

When I turned my head, my mother was looking at me with worried eyes. The purple eyes were filled with water.

Swoop-

“It’s okay. My son.”

“······Mother?”

Mother said that and wiped under my eyes with her thumbs. I just blinked my eyes.

Tears that I don’t know when they started flowing were dripping down.

Even urgently wiping it with the back of my hand was of no use. As if the tear glands were broken, they flowed endlessly.

I even felt empty, as if there was a hole in my chest. Faced with an unexpected truth, the mind is confused.

“You never called me Mom or Dad. That’s why.”

“Um… no, mother…”

No words came out. Come to think of it, since I was reincarnated, I have never called them mom or dad.

Being born into an aristocratic family, it’s strange even if it’s natural. Originally, both of them were commoners and were far from authority.

My siblings call me with respect, but sometimes I call them mom or dad. I never did.

I could have skipped over it because I didn’t even feel uncomfortable, but my thoughts changed when I witnessed the hidden truth.

Deep in her heart, she still recognized her parents in her previous life as her real parents.

“I have a lot to say, but… Let’s see over there first.”

“······”

I listened to my mother while wiping the unstoppable tears. When I turned my head, I could see myself tapping on a keyboard in a dark room.

After my parents passed away, I couldn’t help but call myself a ‘crippled person’. My body was getting very skinny because I didn’t even eat properly.

Even so, he was writing a novel by holding on to the keyboard until the end. I understand that 3 consecutive engagements per day were the basics.

Quadang!

But that act only ruined the body. You can tell by watching him fall as soon as he gets out of his chair.

I couldn’t even walk properly, let alone run, so I must have lost all my muscles. nothing is right

Rice was roughly filled with ramen or delivery. However, I did not gain weight, only lost weight.

Tring!

“······”

As I was writing in a repeated pattern, a text message came from my cell phone. It is a payment received every month.

I was able to accumulate a lot of settlement money by writing like crazy. However, it was literally piled up, and it was rarely used.

“······ Huh!”

When I was about to write again after glancing at the payment, I suddenly grabbed my chest. right in the heart area.

Perhaps the summoning ceremony was held here at that time. My soul came naturally to this place.

A lonely death with no one around. It reflected my image collapsed on the desk, and then it shattered into pieces.

“······”

“······”

I returned to the white room, but no one opened my mouth first. Because it was a more miserable and shocking death than expected.

To be honest, death itself doesn’t really matter. But the death of my parents was more shocking than anything else.

question at the same time. I raised my head while wiping the unstoppable tears.

“Why?”

Why did Mora show me the truth about her parents’ death?

I didn’t understand at all. If it was like this, I’d rather dry it.

It is similar to, but different from, the penance situation. If you suffered for nothing in penance, this is like telling the truth.

The truth that there is a big hole in my heart. It would have been fine if I had buried the truth for the rest of my life.

[Because you chose the future.]

Mora brings out an unknown answer. Mora’s voice echoed throughout the white room for all to hear.

[You chose to confront the devil worshipers directly. It was shown to prevent the worst that could happen in the process.]

“How is this different from the last penance?”

[This is to fill the hole you have.]

“But if you’re doing this…”

It was the moment when the gods of the earth were about to ask if they would leave it alone.

[Even the gods of Earth agreed on this part. If I had passed on with those memories intact, I would have died suddenly in less than a stone.]

“that······”

“······”

Mora spoke calmly, but the ripple effect could not be ignored. My mother covered her mouth with both hands, and my father’s expression hardened.

I am no different. Certainly, if you look back, there are not one or two strange things.

However, there must be a reason why Mora said such a thing.

[He was a happy kid because he was ordinary.]

“······”

[It doesn’t matter if you curse at me, it’s okay to resent me. However, I just want you to know that this was one of the gateways you must pass through.]

Mora’s feelings are understandable.

It was to be prepared in case a devil worshiper later squeezed through this hole.

Moreover, she is the goddess of rest and peace. Maybe I could even take on a handgun for this job.

If Ruminus was going to do it, he would have conveyed the words through Kate. However, Luminous is not an expert in the mental field.

“······You should have said something.”

Rather than resentment, it was closer to grumbling.

In this case, it makes no sense to say anything. It was only to pierce the clogged blood duct.

Even more so, there was a hole in his heart, but now he is filled with other love.

As soon as I thought about it, I looked around. The people I love are looking at me with colorful expressions.

‘Is this the reason why I had a playful temperament?’

I thought about it for a moment, but I immediately put it away. Conversation with Mora is the priority now.

“Then has my sanity fully recovered?”

[That’s not right. Just as scars remain if you treat a wound incorrectly, so does your mind.]

It has to be. Breaking the mind is the same as breaking the soul.

I came over here in a broken state. Even with most of the memories of the previous life preserved.

Perhaps the future of cutting one’s own wrists, which Mora talked about before in penance, is also because trauma broke out.

No matter what, I have people I love. I smiled slightly.

“I’m glad I can live a normal life.”

[Even now, it’s far from normal…]

“Mora?”

[I didn’t say anything.]

Still, it’s cool inside. Just by showing the past to the people I love.

how to say It seems like an inseparable link has formed without me knowing.

Satisfied. There’s nothing I want to hide anymore.

“It takes a devil worshiper… but I’ll try my best.”

[Yes. If you are having a hard time, you can come anytime.]

“Thank you. For the first time, Mora-sama is helpful to me.”

[yes. no, wait. what?]

“I didn’t say anything.”

I felt Mora squint her eyes and stare at me. I was ignorant and ignorant.

In response, Mora sighed and asked in her characteristic lively tone.

[Is there anything else you want to ask? I can swear on my divinity that I showed you all of your past.]

“Ummm…”

I was troubled when I heard that question. There is something I would like to ask you.

I’ve heard that if I hadn’t come over here, I’d have lived to be 90 years old.

I was bewildered that a guy who wouldn’t be weird if he died right away could live so long. But there must be a reason for that.

“I wonder what life would be like if I hadn’t come over here.”

[Ummm… that’s a bit difficult. It’s a matter of the other world, and it’s a future that has already disappeared.]

It seems that it is not possible even if it is a god. It was a little disappointing, but it didn’t matter too much.

[I can give you an explanation instead. About the world you didn’t come over here.]

“Can you tell me?”

[Sure. As I said before, you are originally a being with a lifespan of over 90 years. I met various ties there, and even made a new family.]

It’s a curious story. I was definitely living like a disabled person, but to start a new family.

Mora, who seemed to have read my mind, explained it to me.

[This is all thanks to the help of your friends. They forced you out.]

“…Is it okay to bring out a person with a mental defect at will?”

What were those crazy bastards trying to do to me? I was more embarrassed than embarrassed, so I couldn’t speak.

proud at the same time I thought I made a good friend.

In fact, my friends lived normal lives without even going astray.

Unlike me, who was bad at studying, both of them studied well.

[You can’t just watch your friend get ruined, can you? Anyway, as time goes by, you meet a relationship, start a family, and even give birth to three children. And······]

What Mora said next.

[With a difference of just 2 votes, the leader of the country you lived in changes.]

It was a bigger butterfly effect than I thought.