I Rely on Beauty to Stabilize the Country

After the imperial doctor arrived, Gu Yuanbai was diagnosed with a cold.

Upon hearing the news, Tian Fusheng dragged his old back to go and serve him, but Gu Yuanbai sent him back, telling him to rest calmly and not cause trouble.

After getting wind chill several times, Gu Yuanbai was already very experienced with illnesses. His condition this time seemed serious, but, in reality, it wasn’t as bad as the cold that had almost killed him last time. According to his experience, he’d recuperate in a few days.

Gu Yuanbai was quite calm. The stove in the palace was burning, and, holding a hand heater and covered with a thick cloak, he remained sitting at the table going over the reforms to the memorials system.

“Make sure that the new Jinshi absorb these things well.” The Emperor coughed a few times, his voice sounding a little muted. “Have them work from the bottom up, guiding the local government to learn to use tables, charts and templates to write a memorial. When they use this method to send memorials up the chain of command, the reform will be done.”

The Minister of Civil Personnel and the Executive Official1 from the Zhengshi Hall shuddered when hearing it. “Your Majesty, your Imperial body is the most important thing. These ministers will do a good job, there’s no need to worry.”

Gu Yuanbai’s complexion was abnormally flushed. He raised his head and touched his forehead, exhaling a warm breath. “Very well.”

The two officials and the guard captain who stood on the side all exhaled a sigh of relief.

After the two officials retired, Gu Yuanbai returned to the Imperial bed, turned his head and looked at the guards at his back, exclaiming: “We feel cold, but you feel hot.”

The guard captain was very uptight and didn’t know what to say.

In contrast, Xue Yuan stood upright, his face soaked with sweat, and calmly asked: “Does Your Majesty still feel cold?”

Gu Yuanbai said, “In any case, We feel cooler than you.”

Xue Yuan laughed. “This officer feels hot. It would be great if there was a way to transmit this heat to Your Majesty.”

After the previous incident when Xue Yuan grossed out Gu Yuanbai, once Gu Yuanbai punished him, it meant that a new page had been turned and he was no longer bothered by it. The two of them had a similar temperament and knew each other, so it was as if the scene at the pools had never happened.

Hearing these words, Gu Yuanbai raised his eyebrows, remembering the scene where he had asked Xue Yuan to warm his feet.

Xue Yuan pretended to be obedient and that he could accept such orders. Thinking of the future regent from the original plot in the book, Xue Yuan definitely had a bad temper like a dog’s, and, with Gu Yuanbai asking him to do a servant’s work, even if the mad dog kept a smile on his face, who knew how much desire of revenge might there be in his heart?

But it didn’t matter. The moment he dared to move, Gu Yuanbai dared to hit him. Scare him straight, even a mad dog is aware of pain.

“That won’t be necessary,” Gu Yuanbai said. “Go back, We want to rest.”

The young eunuch lit up the incense to aid sleep, and thick smoke rose from the incense burner, covering the smell of bitter medicine inside the palace. Only a few caring court ladies and eunuchs were left in the inner hall. After waiting for Gu Yuanbai to go to bed, the young eunuch took a pure mutton fat jade and placed it next to his pillow.2

The mutton fat jade was smooth and silky and supporting peaceful sleep. The Emperor liked to play with good quality jade when he went to sleep, so there were always all sorts of top grade jade pieces around the bed.

Gu Yuanbai took a look and remembered that good piece of jade that he had just thrown.

“Does Your Majesty not like this jade?” The young eunuch looked at his expression. “There’s also a Hetian topaz of the best quality, clear like water, without a trace of impurities, should this servant bring the Hetian?”3

“That one.” Gu Yuanbai took the piece in his hand and played with it. “Put down the bed net, I’m going to rest.”

Prince He was dining with the Princess Consort when the news of the Emperor’s illness reached them.

After hearing the news, Prince He’s hand, that had been in the middle of taking a dish, shook. After a moment of silence, he asked, “Where were the people in the palace who serve His Highness?”

Obediently, the servants did not dare speak nonsense. Prince He, suddenly angered, stood up violently, his temples bulged, blue veins suddenly appearing on his head. He glared at the person who informed him. “Is everyone in the palace dead?!

“Are they all dead?” he roared. “How else would they dare let His Highness catch a cold?!

He shook the table, and the wine glasses slipped and smashed against the ground, producing a terrifying crashing sound.

Prince He’s eyes were dark, his anger was almost out of control, and his expression was terrible.

The Princess Consort, on the side, cried out, quickly standing up to avoid the broken pieces and dirt on the ground. She covered her mouth, looking at Prince He with tears in her eyes, horrified.

Prince He clenched his hands into fists, his muscles straining and making his knuckles crack. As he glared at the people around, they threw themselves to their knees. “My… my Lord…”

Taking a few deep breaths, Prince He said with a calm face, “Prepare the carriage.”

When Prince He arrived at the palace, there were already several worried officials waiting outside the Emperor’s chambers. The Emperor’s cold from earlier that year had been not just frightening for the people in the inner palace, it had also thrown the court into turmoil. Now that the Emperor was their backbone, the officials felt full of grief just thinking about it.

Now that Prince He was there, the officials all gathered around him and asked him hurriedly, “Prince He, did you know that His Majesty is sick again?”

“How much do you know? Is the sickness severe or dangerous? How does His Majesty feel, what did the imperial doctors say?”

Prince He was calm and silent. The other officials, seeing him like that, glanced towards each other and stopped asking questions.

After a while, an eunuch walked out of the palace and said with a smile, “The Emperor is resting now. Is anyone in a hurry? If so, this one will go wake His Highness up. If not, please go back, Your Excellencies.”

It wasn’t possible to enter the palace without being summoned, and that was also true for the Great Heng Dynasty. However, some important court officials had a waist tablet for entering the palace that allowed them to do so on their own initiative to inform the Emperor of any important matters, in order to not miss any urgent issues. These few officials, naturally, had taken that tablet to get into the palace now, all worrying about the Emperor’s health. However, whether the matter was really urgent, it really wasn’t.

The group of officials asked, “How is the Emperor’s condition? What did the imperial doctor say?”

The guards, armed with swords, were guarding the front of the palace, watching the group of ministers intently. The eunuch said kindly, “Your Excellencies can rest assured. The imperial doctor has taken the Emperor’s pulse and he said that there was no problem with His Highness’ body.”

Hearing this, the officials breathed a sigh of relief and finally agreed to leave with the palace attendant.

When the officials were gone, Prince He walked into the palace. The eunuch stopped the prince and reluctantly smiled and said: “Your Excellency, please don’t put me in a difficult position. His Highness is resting. If Your Excellency wants to see the Emperor, why don’t you wait for His Highness to wake up?”

Prince He pushed the eunuch aside. “This prince wants to see how His Highness is now with his own eyes.”

However, after taking just two steps, the guard captain led his subordinates to stop Prince He. The guard captain said, neither haughty nor humble, “Your Excellency, you cannot cross this door without the Emperor’s summons.”

Prince He smiled and asked coldly: “What if this prince has to go in?”

Gu Yuanbai had kept Prince He trapped in the capital for three years. There had been continuous small affairs, but no major events had passed through his hands. It could be said that, in the whole world, no one was more aware of Gu Yuanbai’s distrustful nature than Prince He was.

When he stayed behind closed doors in the mansion, Gu Yuanbai had sent imperial doctors to visit him to diagnose him with his pulse and treat him. He knew very well at that time that, if he refused entry to the imperial doctors, Gu Yuanbai would become suspicious and show up at his door to see if Prince He was being obedient.

But even if he knew that it would make Gu Yuanbai doubt him, he had still rejected the imperial doctor’s visit. Whether he had been possessed or he had been expecting a certain someone to come… Prince He didn’t want to think about it.

" "

Right before the imperial doctor walked out of the mansion, Prince He doused himself in cold water in the middle of the night to avoid Gu Yuanbai’s distrust. Sure enough, Gu Yuanbai had been so suspicious that, soon after the imperial doctor left, he came to his door himself.

How could someone who knew Gu Yuanbai as well as Prince He not know how much he would be intruding against Gu Yuanbai’s rules if he dared to break into the bedchamber?

But the fire burned in his heart again, and a terrible devil was calling him. He had to look at the cursed Emperor himself, and, if he couldn’t take a glance at least, Prince He knew that he wouldn’t be able to rest that day.

The guards did not dare to hurt the prince, and the guard captain frowned and said solemnly: “Prince He, these are the Emperor’s orders.”

Prince He answered coldly, “Even if you are punished today, this king will break through.”

The two sides confronted each other, neither of them willing to take a step back, and the atmosphere was tense. Prince He looked at the guards unkindly. Suddenly, his eyes stopped, frowning, and he said, “The son of General Xue’s family?”

Xue Yuan was hidden in the shadows, the outline of his face faint. Slowly and deliberately, he said: “This servant greets the Prince.”

As soon as he recognized someone from the Xue family, Prince He thought back to that rainy day, and his mouth seemed to be filled with the taste of deer blood. His expression kept changing between anger, disgust and confusion, and finally grew somber.

“The Prince must be aware that this is the palace,” Xue Yuan smiled, politely persuading him. “The Emperor just fell asleep from exhaustion. Prince, if you move any more, I fear His Highness will wake up.”

Prince He was silent for a while before saying slowly: “His Majesty is ill, and, as a brother, I will always worry about his health. If you don’t obstruct me, I won’t move much. This prince is very loyal, and only wishes to take a look at the Emperor.”

The smile on Xue Yuan’s face disappeared.

I’ve fucking told you that there’s someone sleeping inside, what the hell do you want to look at?

The sound of footsteps came from the hall, and the young eunuch serving the Emperor walked out, questioning: “The Emperor is awake and he’s asking about the noise outside.”

The guard captain’s expression changed and he immediately lowered his head in shame.

Prince He couldn’t help but freeze. Upon seeing him, the young eunuch realized what was going on, and he said helplessly, “Please come in, Prince He.”

The hall was dark, with only the light that came through the doors and windows. When he walked to the door of the inner hall, the young eunuch whispered: “Your Majesty, it’s Prince He.”

“Prince He?” The voice coming from the inner hall sounded hoarse. “What are you doing here, Prince He?”

Prince He pursed his lips. “This minister heard that Your Highness was ill, and came here to pay a visit.”

“So you came to visit Us?” The Emperor’s tone was mild. “If We didn’t know, We’d think that you were trying to force your way into the palace, Prince He.”

Upon hearing those words, Prince He, shocked, threw himself to his knees, a cold sweat running down his back. “Your Highness must be kidding.”

Gu Yuanbai snickered, cold and silent, as he sat up on the Imperial bed and was helped out of the inner hall. The dragon boots passed before Prince He’s eyes, and the cold sweat on his forehead dripped past his temples.

Gu Yuanbai didn’t usually care too much about Prince He. After all, they all belonged to the same clan. In some respects, their relationship was both completely thriving and completely ruinous. He kept Prince He in the capital, but not because he had any ill will towards him. The late Emperor had few male successors. He had a di son and an eldest son just in time.4 Gu Yuanbai couldn’t say that he had much trust in Prince He, but at least he still was convinced that Prince He was not a fool.

But now Prince He, that he had thought not to be a fool, had tried to break into his palace while he was asleep?

What came next, leading soldiers into Xuanzheng Hall?

The eunuch offered him freshly boiled medicine, and the bitter scent spread in the air. Gu Yuanbai drank his medicine and said: “Get up.”

Prince He moved his arms and legs. When he got up, his legs were already a bit stiff.

Gu Yuanbai asked him to take a seat to enjoy tea. Prince He, as usual, gulped it down. The tea’s flavor, which, in the past, wasn’t even slightly sweet, now had turned very bitter and astringent.

Gu Yuanbai, seeing him drink it so fast, smiled. “How does the tea taste?”

Prince He lowered his gaze, not looking at him and retreating within himself. “It’s fragrant.”

“Prince He, if you like it, you can take two tea cakes5 on your way back.” Gu Yuanbai smiled. “The water used to make this tea is from the spring snow back in february, picking the snow fallen on the early spring plum blossoms, the aftertaste carries the aroma of cold plum. Prince He, you may wish to taste it carefully.”

Prince He took the cup again and took another sip. It was really strange. The tea that had tasted bitter before now, looking at the Emperor’s smile, really had a hint of a plum’s sweetness.

Gu Yuanbai always used the carrot and stick method. When both the stick and the carrot came from the Emperor, most people would forget the stick and just remember the carrot. After talking to Gu Yuanbai for a while, he took two tea cakes with him and retired. Judging from the look on Prince He’s face, he seemed quite satisfied.

After sending off Prince He, the Emperor sat motionless for a long while before rubbing his eyebrows and calling out in a weak voice: “Zhang Xu.”

The guard captain walked over. “Your servant is here.”

“Our legs and feet feel weak,” Gu Yuanbai said. “Carry Us back to the inner hall.”

After the nap and taking medicine, his body was quite weak. Gu Yuanbai tried to stand up, but he found that his legs weren’t working properly.

The guard captain immediately squatted on the ground, showing his broad back at the Emperor. “This servant obeys.”

The guard captain was tall, and he looked steady.

Gu Yuanbai looked at the guard’s long and wide back, feeling complicated. If only, if only his bones were strong and healthy, he could have beautiful muscles easily as long as he exercised and trained every day.

In the modern era, Gu Yuanbai’s figure was also tall and slender, and he looked thin when dressed but with some muscle on him when naked. He had a healthy body with a strong heart in his previous life, and Gu Yuanbai liked some exciting, extreme sports. However, once he arrived in this world, he couldn’t do any dangerous work, and even stepping barefoot on white jade would make him come down with a cold.

However, his identity as the young Emperor brought a different type of spiritual interests. Gu Yuanbai also wondered about what happened to the original young Emperor. Did he die from the disease, or did he get exchanged and went to Gu Yuanbai’s body?

Gu Yuanbai hoped it was the latter.

If he got his body, then, the young Emperor would definitely be able to have fun too.

Gu Yuanbai stretched out his hand and had just placed it on the shoulder of the guard captain when Xue Yuan suddenly said abruptly, “Your Majesty, would you let this official do it?”

Gu Yuanbai felt taken aback. Xue Yuan had already walked over, showing his back, and he knelt next to the guard captain with one knee on the ground.

His back was equally broad and strong, and it was easy to notice how healthy and powerful it was. Gu Yuanbai didn’t hesitate long before withdrawing his hand and placing it on Xue Yuan’s body.

First, Xue Yuan had already carried him once, and it was enough to lose face before one single person.

Second, if a mad dog was willing to take the initiative to carry him on his back, Gu Yuanbai would naturally not pass up the chance to get him to do hard work. It would be for the best to have Xue Yuan get used to working hard for him and offering his loyalty. False loyalty was better than indifference.

Third, at the idea of the future regent carrying him, Gu Yuanbai’s heart as a ruler inevitably rose with a desire to conquer.

As soon as Gu Yuanbai got on Xue Yuan’s back, Xue Yuan tensed up, unused to it. He tried his best to relax and said with a smile: “Your Majesty, this servant will stand up.”

Xue Yuan knew how delicate the young Emperor was. The last time he had held him it was more difficult than holding a tender flower. He couldn’t use too much or too little strength, and he couldn’t go too fast or too slow. Xue Yuan felt that living that way was more tortuous than going to the battlefield to kill the enemy.

This time, the young Emperor would be on his back, which was better than holding him in his arms. Xue Yuan stood up easily, holding Gu Yuanbai’s legs in his hands, and jolted the young Emperor upwards.

“Don’t move!” The young Emperor yelled immediately. “Behave, careful, move Us steadily.”

Xue Yuan nodded solemnly. His neck was covered with the warmth of the young Emperor’s breath. He walked a few steps forward steadily, and, when he looked sideways, he saw the guard captain standing on the spot, looking at him with a sullen look.

Xue Yuan raised the corner of his lips and he nodded towards the guard captain in a friendly manner, then turned his head back around.

The scent of the Emperor’s body kept burying itself into Xue Yuan’s nose, and the flesh under his palms was so soft that his fingers sank in it. However, the Emperor seemed to still be concerned about the proper appearance as the most noble person in the world, and he held his hand close to himself, almost as if he didn’t want to touch Xue Yuan’s skin.

The young Emperor didn’t like other people touching him, and it seemed that he didn’t like touching others, either.

Xue Yuan’s heart was devious. As he was about to walk through the door of the inner hall with the Emperor, suddenly, the soles of his feet slipped, and he almost fell to the ground with Gu Yuanbai on his back.

Gu Yuanbai reflexively tightened his arms around Xue Yuan’s neck, his face turning dark. After Xue Yuan stood up straight again, he smiled very insincerely. “Your Majesty, this servant just slipped.”

Gu Yuanbai sneered. “Since the floor is slippery, then, Guard Xue, you will clean this place for Us.”

Xue Yuan grasped the person he was carrying in his hands tightly. “Your Highness must be kidding.”

Gu Yuanbai made a light “Oh” and was about to let go of his hold. However, he then saw an eunuch staggering from the side. The eunuch threw himself to the ground when he spotted Gu Yuanbai.

Gu Yuanbai’s right eyelid suddenly twitched.

He straightened up and looked at the young eunuch, his expression darkened.

The eunuch ran up to Gu Yuanbai with a face full of dirt and hot tears, and he choked and said: “Your Highness, Grand Imperial Concubine Wan has passed away!”

Gu Yuanbai was startled, then he felt a rush of fire reaching his heart. He suddenly covered his chest and coughed violently. His whole body was trembling, his cough was getting stronger and stronger, and then a mouthful of hot blood came out of his mouth.

The sticky wet blood sprayed onto Xue Yuan’s neck. Xue Yuan’s eyes pupils tightened, his hands gripped tightly, and he turned his head to the side to look at his back. The Emperor’s lips were stained with blood, a color redder than rouge, and more blood was already stuck to his body.

Alternate title for this chapter: War of the Simps (courtesy of my dear editor Wintery)

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Footnotes

An eminent official entitled to participate in the discussions of the Zhengshi Hall during the Song dynasty, which seems to be the main reference in the novel.Top grade jade, very pure white.和田黄玉，通透沉淀，无一丝杂质 Literally “so transparent that it’s like clear water after sand has settled, without a flaw/without any low quality sections (thanks to fox for the help); I wasn’t sure with my initial translation so I kept the raws for clarification (for those who know abt stones at least). Anyway, topaz is written with the characters  “yellow jade” in Chinese so I assume they’re treated as belonging to the same category.A di son is a son from the legitimate wife, the principles of succession in Ancient China dictated the eldest legitimate son was the preferred heir.Tea cakes like these, not confectioneries.