I’m Really a Superstar

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Official website.

The message board below the online live broadcast area has been flooded with messages.

"Ha ha ha ha"

"Holy shit, it's blinding me."

"Who the hell said that Teacher Zhang Ye can't do cross talk?"

"I can't do it. Hahahaha. I'm already cramping from laughing. It's so funny. Teacher Zhang Ye is so funny. Teacher Yao Jiancai also praises her very well."

"The cooperation between the old and the young is really amazing."

"The two of them have such a tacit understanding that one burden after another comes one after another."

"And have you noticed? Zhang Ye's cross talk is different from ordinary traditional cross talk."

"Yeah, there's no time for anyone to rest at all. It's a burden from the beginning to the end. As soon as one is finished, the second one is picked up. This skill is so damn awesome.

I used to think that Teacher Zhang Ye couldn't speak cross talk, so I didn't have any expectations. This time, Teacher Zhang once again opened our eyes. A great person is an awesome person. It seems that there is nothing that Zhang Ye can't do, but he can actually do everything."

“It’s wonderful”

“I love Teacher Zhang so much”

"I just watched the other works in the cross talk competition and thought they were quite good, but after your mother listened to Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancheng's words, I found that the other cross talk works were just bullshit."

"That's right"

“Same as above fl”

"Stop talking, I'll keep watching. I guess the live broadcast signal is wrong. We won't be able to watch it until they react."

"It's okay, I've already recorded it."

"I also recorded it. Such a classic work must be kept as a souvenir."

now.

CCTV ll set has been in chaos.

The calls from the leaders of CCTV headquarters came one by one, and calls from other relevant departments also came one after another.

Only then did Chen Huo, the director of ll set, realize that something big had happened. After hanging up the phone, he immediately became angry and called seven or eight related people, including Secretary An and the person in charge of the cross talk competition program team.

"What are you doing to me?" Chen Huo was furious.

The person in charge wiped his sweat and said, "Mr. Chen, I, I am following your instructions."

Chen Huo slapped the table and said, "What the hell, these two people were named on the ban list. Not only did you not ban them, but you also gave them a live broadcast? You are going to die." He was so angry that he was full of swear words.

The person in charge said in shock: "Secretary An told me..."

Secretary An was anxious, "What am I telling you? I told you to manage these two people well."

The person in charge glared and said, "Didn't you say that we don't need to manage it?"

Secretary An almost fainted, "I also told you to pay attention to the ban."

The person in charge said: "Didn't you tell us not to care about the ban?"

Secretary An vomited blood and said, "What kind of ears do you have? I even told you not to record the video, and I asked you if it was clear."

The person in charge said: "What I heard is that we are asked to record the video, and we must record it clearly..."

After hearing this, Chen Huo and the relevant staff in the room almost spit out a mouthful of old blood. Damn it, what the hell is this? You are an undercover agent sent by the enemy, right?

No matter how stupid the person in charge was at this moment, he knew that he had made an mistake. It turned out that your sister was not a political struggle caused by the transfer of the deputy director of radio and television. He hurriedly explained: "Today we have mobile phones in the station. The signal is not very good, it’s always intermittent, and the sound is not clear, so I got the wrong idea... Ouch, I’ll ask them to stop the live broadcast signal and I’ll do it right away.”

Chen Huo shouted: "Go quickly"

The person in charge hurriedly ran out to make a call. Dududu, no one answered the office phone in charge of the live broadcast. Yu Jian ran upstairs in person and directly opened the door of the office area responsible for the live broadcast signal, "Where are the people? Why don't you answer the phone? Stop the live broadcast immediately."

A female staff member said at a loss of whether to laugh or cry: "I can't pinch it anymore. Just half a minute ago, a few people in charge of the live broadcast got sick from lunch. When they came out to use the toilet, they got anxious and slammed the door. There was no one inside now." , the key is also in the control room.”

Sure enough, several male employees were tinkering around the door and couldn't open it.

The person in charge asked anxiously: "Where is the spare key?"

The female employee said: "It's in the annex building. Someone has already been sent to look for it."

The person in charge shouted: "Why do things get worse the more you get anxious?"

He didn't wait anymore and hurried to the recording site, wanting to cut off the signal directly from there, but he also knew in his heart that it would be too late for him. The cross talk was almost over. God, are you kidding me? Is there another problem with Zhang Ye's phone signal? Did he hear every word wrong? After discovering the error, the staff at the live broadcast console got upset again? Did you accidentally lock the door again? There was no way to find the spare key at that time? This series of chaos from beginning to end is such a coincidence.

Zhang Ye

This guy is really fucking evil.

Live broadcast.

Laughter surges like a tidal wave, one after another

Zhang Ye stood on the stage with high spirits, still coughing, "When it comes to the art of cross talk, there is too much to say. Now cross talk is developing well. You see, it can still be competed on a big stage like CCTV, and... With the attention and love of so many people across the country, crosstalk was struggling in the past. The crosstalk actors at that time were performing on the streets, which was very hard and not easy."

Yao Jiancai sighed: "That's it."

Zhang Ye said: "The so-called wind is reduced by half and the rain is completely eliminated."

Yao Jiancai said: "That's right."

Zhang Ye said: "I said it well, it's time to give money, but when the wind blows, people shout and leave. Well, it's daytime, it's raining, and when it rains, no one listens to crosstalk outside. , so cross talk is different from some industries, unlike bricklayers, who are happy when it rains."

Yao Jiancai asked: "Why are you so happy?"

Zhang Ye said: "Sitting in the house drinking, listening to the noise outside...Click, he was happy, he will have work after the rain stops, call him son..." He casually pointed to the side, "Go, fight Two ounces of wine to go."

Yao Jiancai pushed him, "Are you referring to me?"

Zhang Ye blinked, "I just wanted to say something."

Yao Jiancai: "That won't work either. Just point over there."

The audience laughs

Zhang Ye continued: "Wow... click, go and hit two more."

Yao Jiancai: "You only drank four taels now?"

Zhang Ye: "Wow... click, give me another two ounces."

Yao Jiancai: "Still drinking?"

Zhang Ye: "Wow... Okay, I can't drink this time."

Yao Jiancai was confused: "Why don't you drink this time?"

Zhang Ye spread his hands and said, "My house collapsed."

Yao Jiancai: "Hey, it won't work if it rains too much."

This burden made hundreds of audience members laugh again.

However, the performance time of each contestant's preliminaries work is limited and stipulated. It doesn't matter if it is less, but it cannot exceed ten minutes. Only fifteen or twenty minutes will be available in the semi-finals. There is no such time in the preliminaries. It takes a lot of time. After all, there are too many people participating in the competition. There are more than ten groups taking turns to record. If they can finish recording tomorrow, it will be considered fast. If it is slower, it will be the day after tomorrow, so Zhang Ye and the others are almost ready to perform.

No one below gave any hints, but both Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai knew it well. Especially Zhang Ye, as a professional host, he didn't even need to look at his watch to see how long he had left after the program had finished speaking. to within three seconds.

Just over a minute to go.

It's time to wrap things up.

Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai exchanged glances and stopped adding anything impromptu.

Yao Jiancai understood, "Since you said you are a scholar, can you write poetry?"

When the audience heard this, they all cheered

"Ha ha"

"one comes"

"Let's play one"

Zhang Ye's ability in writing poems has long been famous and everyone knows it.

Zhang Ye pushed Yao Jiancai, "Are you harming me?"

Yao Jiancai smiled and said, "Why did I harm you?"

Zhang Ye: "My poems have caused so much trouble, and you still let me write them."

"babble"

"babble"

The audience booed again.

He has scolded the radio station, insulted the leaders, and criticized the radio and television. Zhang Ye's poems have indeed caused a lot of troubles and caused countless controversies.

Yao Jiancai said happily: "Then give us two couplets."

Zhang Ye asked: "What to write?"

Yao Jiancai thought for a while and said, "Write one for an official."

Zhang Ye yelled, "You really don't think this is a big deal."

Yao Jiancai: "What does this mean? Freedom of speech."

Zhang Ye: "Then write one to the officials of the old society."

Yao Jiancai: "This is not the old society. The new society and the old society will come together."

Zhang Ye: "Okay, okay, if you dare to die, I will bury you."

Yao Jiancai: "Hey, what are you talking about?"

Zhang Ye pondered for a moment and said: "Let me write a comparison between the old and new officials. Well, the first couplet is: red rice, pumpkin soup, a wife, and a bunch of children."

Yao Jiancai looked at him, "Where's the second line?"

Zhang Ye: "White rice, tortoise soup, ten children, and a bunch of wives."

Yao Jiancai said: "Oh, horizontal criticism?"

Zhang Ye said: "Sooner or later, double rules"

Yao Jiancai: "Hey, that's Shuanggui."

Hearing this, the audience below all applauded

Yao Jiancai smiled and said: "This couplet is interesting. Well, how about you write another couplet for me? Yes, write a couplet for me and my wife."

Zhang Ye said: "Okay."

Yao Jiancai was very happy, "Tell me, what is the first couplet?"

Zhang Ye pondered, "A hero's sword never grows old."

Yao Jiancai: "Where is the second couplet? Where is my wife?"

Zhang Ye showed his face, "...I still have my charm."

puff

The audience all yelled, "Hahahahaha"

Yao Jiancai was speechless, "Hengbiao?"

Zhang Ye said casually: "Dog man..."

Before he could say the word "female", Yao Jiancai slapped him and said, "Fuck you."

Crosstalk ends

Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai smiled slightly, then stood up straight and bowed to the audience. Then, the entire recording hall was filled with deafening applause.

bang bang bang bang

All the audience stood up

"good"

"well said"

"Ha ha ha ha"

“Too awesome”

“A masterpiece”

"Zhang Ye Zhang Ye Zhang Ye"

Even the female judge stood up from the judges' seat, applauded Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai, then raised her hand and gave them a thumbs up.