Love Doesn't Matter

Chapter 96 – All the Miseries Within You

“Remember that things are different now from back then. You two are adults and have promised to marry each other. It’s not something that can be easily brushed off as youthful indiscretion. You really should only exchange greetings with each other.”

“Got it.”

Bianca turned her head toward the window, avoiding the nursemaid’s nagging. The endless vineyard was magnificent.

Is all of this really for me?

Hardy is planning our honeymoon in this beautiful place?

Bianca couldn’t help her heart fluttering even though she knew how foolish it was to believe only what she wanted to believe.

“Ugh.”

The nursemaid let out her fifth sigh.

“I thought you’d become more elegant, but how could you still be the same? You were like this back then, too. You disappeared without a word, and we were in a panic. But still, I’m glad you’re taking me along this time.”

In another situation, Bianca would have coquettishly responded to the nursemaid’s complaints.

But Bianca was a little absent-minded. The nursemaid, who kept reminding her of “back then,” was constantly poking at the wound, even though she probably didn’t intend to do so.

Leaning her head against the glass window, she recalled the events of “back then.”

Bianca had known since she was young that she was not like other girls.

She didn’t know how to elegantly embroider her initials on silk handkerchiefs like her peers, and her skirt was always dirty at the hem.

She had no enthusiasm for anything related to bridal classes, and her mind was always filled with thoughts of chess.

Most of all, she was not long and slender like a ballerina.

Even though she had held back on the food she wanted to eat to become a pale and fragile beauty, she still heard the word “chubby” every time.

She knew that she was only “chubby” to her face, and that she was called “fatty” and “porker” behind her back.

“Today, Bianca wore a petticoat to puff up her skirt.”

“Goodness, that chubby girl?”

“I thought a big pumpkin was walking by. I’m worried she’ll get stuck in the door.”

When Bianca first heard the mocking words from behind, she couldn’t breathe from shame. She felt like her entire body was trembling and turning into dust.

She wanted to disappear. She wanted to run away. Or even better, she wanted to condemn those kids with the help of her father’s power.

But she couldn’t do that.

Bianca had known since she was young about the weight of the name “Lychinen.”

A true Lychinen should be able to smile gracefully and maintain dignity and elegance in any situation. It was like the last piece of her self-esteem that Bianca had to protect.

Bianca chewed on her cheeks until they bled and forced a wide smile at her “friends” as if nothing had happened. They hugged her and declared her “our princess” as if nothing was wrong.

It was around that time that the matchmaking with Meyer Family had begun.

During the most horrible period when Bianca had to hide her scars and inferiority to become a “bright and cheerful young lady”…

Bianca didn’t know what to do. She heard that Meyer’s successor was flawless, with perfect looks and no weaknesses.

The word “perfect” sparked a strong rebellion in her.

Surely, he would hate me. He won’t hide the look of disdain when he sees me chubby.

No, that’s not right.

That kid might call me “princess” on the surface but secretly call me “porky pig” like the others.

The moment she thought of that, Bianca couldn’t take it anymore.

No matter how much it was a strategic marriage, she couldn’t marry someone who might call her “porky pig” and not even like her.

After thinking all night, Bianca made up her mind. She would secretly meet that boy and free each other from the unwanted marriage.

A good opportunity presented itself. It was heard that the child would participate in the upcoming royal hunting competition.

Bianca persuaded her cousin to disguise herself as a stable boy and secretly follow the hunting competition. It was a perfect day for fox hunting, with the snow falling incessantly since dawn.

“There, do you see?”

Her cousin’s finger pointed toward a boy riding a black horse. His black hair matched the horse he was riding.

Bianca was captivated by his piercing blue-grey eyes, long nose, well-defined jawline, and tightly closed lips that didn’t give off any childishness.

“That child is Hadius Meyer.”

Despite the risk of her amateur disguise being exposed, Bianca couldn’t take her eyes off him.

As the horn trumpet announced the beginning of the competition, people rushed into the forest with their guns and dozens of dogs.

Hadius Meyer did the same. He skillfully controlled his horse with gloved hands and disappeared from Bianca’s eyes.

Bianca waited in front of the stable with a bonfire burning, hoping he would return.

The slanted sun rose to its zenith and then slowly declined. Meanwhile, some people returned holding large foxes, while others proudly displayed a baby fox or a rabbit.

Bianca’s cousin had long since given up and had gone inside the stable to avoid the cold. Only that fair boy who had disappeared into the frozen forest like an ice palace was not yet back.

Should she just go back?

As Bianca thought about it, she exhaled warm breath into her frozen hands. Finally, at the entrance of the pine forest, a shiny black horse appeared.

The boy was holding a gray fox that she had never seen before. Bloody spots like wax seals appeared on the ground wherever he passed.

Bianca was once again struck by the otherworldly scene of a slick young man holding a bleeding fox. It seemed that he had no interest in the shooting itself. She cautiously approached Meyer’s ranch house, thinking that with the success of catching the fox, the men of the family would be busy congratulating each other and clinking glasses.

However, her expectations were completely off.

The cheers and applause that resounded from everywhere were not audible from Meyer’s ranch house.

The precious gray fox was lying on the snow, and Hadius Meyer was standing alone beside it. His blood was spreading out slowly and staining the snow around his boots bright red.

His father, Meyer Duke, was riding a horse a little ahead of him. Next to him was another young man, the bastard child of Meyer, who was subjected to people’s scorn and ridicule.

The strange thing was that the bastard child was holding the gun and horse that Hadius Meyer had been riding until just before.

Bianca didn’t feel any emotional wavering from Hadius, who was chasing after them from behind. However, when she heard the first word ‘fatty,’ she felt something like a hot iron rod piercing through her whole body.

A child who had to hide all the wounds he had suffered and pretend as if nothing had happened.

A child like me.

All the miserable things boiling inside him were violently shaking and disturbing Bianca’s heart.

“I’m the only one who can fully understand Hadi.”

Bianca muttered to herself.

Her white breath touched the glass, leaving a blurry spot before disappearing. All the nagging and worries that were swirling in her head began to fade away.

“He’s someone who can’t help but hide his true feelings like me. No, I can’t even compare myself to him. I have parents and a nurse whom I can trust and rely on, don’t I?”

A faint smile appeared on her lonely face.

Gradually, Ruth became like a deaf person who had eaten honey. Unlike her lips, which drew into a frown, her eyes trembled as if they were about to shed tears at any moment.

“I didn’t have anyone to confide in, nor did I know how to confide in someone. So there was nothing I could do. I took the first step and…”

Who would understand?

The fact that even those who seem to have everything, like Lady Meyer and the nobles, have to bear the weight of life equally.

“I understand, my lady.”

Looking back, today’s incident was nothing significant. There were mistakes on my part, and the person who acted without discretion was not my lady.

It’s not like I will be in trouble for this minor transgression…

Thinking so, Ruth reached for her purse. She would use it to hide Lady’s tears that were undoubtedly tearing her heart apart.

That’s when it happened.

Thump!

With a loud noise, the carriage suddenly shook violently.

“Oh my goodness!”

Her purse flew into the air, and Ruth lost her balance, falling forward.

“Nanny!”

If it weren’t for Bianca holding her, Ruth’s forehead would have hit the hard edge.

The swaying carriage shook violently like a spring, then screeched to a halt.

Bianca and Ruth stared at each other, stunned, as the coachman rushed to them with a pensive expression.

“Are you okay, my lady?! Are you hurt anywhere…?”

Finally confirming that neither the Young Lady nor nanny were hurt, the coachman breathed a sigh of relief.

“What in the world just happened?! We could have been in big trouble!”

As Ruth shouted in frustration, the coachman hesitated to speak.

“The wheel came off… I didn’t see the rock on the road…”

With the help of the coachman and Ruth, Bianca left the tilted carriage.

The wheel was indeed rolling on the roadside.

“Don’t worry… We can fix it quickly. There must be a stable in that village over there.”

The coachman pointed somewhere. It was the entrance to a village where garlands were waving, indicating that there was a festival going on..

“Are you really okay with this?”

“Yes!”

Charlotte replied energetically.

“Mr. Beppy will be there. Pib will stay by your side, too.”

Pib vigorously nodded his head, reassuring his owner instead of the Bern sisters.

Throughout the journey, Doyeon had repeatedly advised Emilia to take good care of Charlotte Bern so that she could fully enjoy the festival.

“Anyway, your sister won’t be able to walk around. She can either rest somewhere or go to the villa first.”

Charlotte let go of Emilia’s hand, and quickly turned to Pib.

“Where is the play taking place?”

“At the square. We shouldn’t be late if we go now.”

“Did you hear that? Let’s go, don’t worry about me.”

Before they could finish speaking, the child grabbed both of their hands and pulled them along.

“Let’s go!”

As they disappeared into the crowd, Hadrius approached Emilia. It was awkward for her to be left alone with him, but he spoke first.

“Shall we go by carriage?”

“…Okay.”

“Grab onto me.”

Hadrius inserted his arm under Emilia’s armpit.

Although she had become accustomed to it, the overpowering scent of the man still made Emilia tense up.