Master of the System

Karta exhaled and flopped onto her belly. Her front paws landed by Vremya’s feet. He was sitting on a cushion, observing the snack gods as they went about their business. The dogs were busy bartering, trading all kinds of different seeds and eggs. Most of them were gathered about the mastiff, which Vremya had learned was the god of ice cream—the strongest snack god in existence. According to Karta, every world in the lower dimension knew of ice cream or a variant of it.

“So, what do you think?” Karta asked, nudging Vremya’s knee with her paw.

“I didn’t expect there to be this many gods,” Vremya said and narrowed his eyes. “Back in my time, it was just Kosmos and I carving out a path through the titans. There were others, but they went their own way.”

“And to think, just a few years ago, you had no idea what a titan was,” Karta said.

Vremya snorted. “It’s not my fault the younger generation renamed the creatures of darkness. It was a perfect name. How does titans even make any sense to describe those things?”

Karta shrugged. “How come you’ve never told me more about yourself?” She rolled her eyes to look up at Vremya. “You’re actually like a historical figure, like this really amazing guy. Every snack god wants to get to know you.”

“Really?” Vremya asked, raising an eyebrow. He swept his gaze over the crowd of animals. None of them were approaching him. “It doesn’t seem like it.” However, judging by the way Karta was looking up at him, it really did seem like her impression of him changed after listening to the opinions of her fellow gods. “As for why I haven’t told you more about myself…, you never asked.”

Karta nodded. “If you weren’t such a hateful person at times, I definitely would’ve tried to get along with you better.”

“Hateful?” Vremya blinked. “How am I hateful?”

“What’s your nickname for me?”

“Stinky dog.”

Karta stared at Vremya with a blank expression. “And you don’t understand why you’re hateful?”

Vremya rubbed his chin but didn’t respond. His eyes flickered, and a frown appeared on his face. “Does this meeting include titans?”

“Who the hell would invite a titan to a meeting?” Karta asked.

“Well, someone did,” Vremya said and pointed. A fissure appeared in the air, hovering in the middle of the ballroom, right about the god of ice cream. The chattering in the room stopped, and all the gods turned to stare at the portal. Their hackles raised as waves of cold energy radiated out from the crack in space, and a few gods couldn’t hold back their barks.

Karta’s jaw dropped open. She pulled out her phone and swatted at the screen. “No connection!? How the hell is there no connection!?” Her face paled, and she jumped to her feet before hiding behind Vremya. She cleared her throat. “You said you carved out a path amongst the titans, right?”

“I did,” Vremya said and climbed to his feet. It seemed like the creatures of darkness were invading the snack gods’ meeting. Although Vremya might’ve been a bit behind the times, he could still think of a few reasons as to why they were here. However, he didn’t care. It had been a while since he last flexed his muscles, and the fact that he couldn’t kill Pozhar even after unleashing two ultimate techniques still irked him.

Two black tentacles burst through the portal, and the various snack gods barked and ran about. They headed towards the exit, but it was locked from the outside. The god of ice cream roared and ran at the door, slamming into it with his massive body, but the door remained intact, and the mastiff bounced off with a clinking sound.

Vremya frowned at the gods’ actions. “Why is their first thought to run and not to fight?”

“We’re snack gods, not combat gods,” Karta said. “Look at my special ability.” She held her breath and grunted. A moment later, a bag of potato chips appeared in front of her face. There was the image of a black Labrador retriever on the bag, but its head was much bigger than its body. Even Vremya, who disapproved of creatures with fur, found it a little cute. “Here. Eat a chip.”

Vremya opened the bag and picked up a potato chip. “Huh, it’s not stinky,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

Karta’s eye twitched. “Why would it be stinky? Who the hell would eat a stinky potato chip? Just eat it!” She rose onto her hindlegs and shoved the potato chip into Vremya’s mouth with her front paw. The god of time crunched down on it, and his eyes widened.

“I feel a tiny bit of extra strength,” Vremya said, eyeing the bag of potato chips. He took a fistful of chips and shoved them into his mouth. He chewed and didn’t even bother swallowing before speaking again. “The amount is miniscule though, almost negligible.”

“Well, if someone hadn’t beamed me two hundred thousand years into the future, the effect would be stronger, okay?”

Vremya nodded. By the time he was done eating the bag of potato chips, the titan had finally wormed its way out of the portal. A second titan was extending its tentacles into the ballroom, and it had a much easier time getting through. The portal had already been widened thanks to the first titan. The first titan’s tentacles split apart into many smaller tentacles, each one reaching for a snack god. Vremya raised a finger, but Karta slapped his shoulder. “Wait!”

“Wait?” Vremya tilted his head. “Wait for what?”

“Let it eat Yabloch first,” Karta said, her eyes gleaming. Her tail wagged back and forth, and she beamed at the tentacles reaching for the red dog. “Once my biggest competitor is gone…. Heh-heh.”

Vremya had no idea what to say. Honestly, it didn’t matter to him whether or not Yabloch was eaten by titans. Sure, the god of apple chips was a god, but if the rules against harming gods didn’t exist, Vremya would’ve already slain a god. It wasn’t like gods had any obligations to each other.

“Help!”

“The god of time is here! He can save us!”

As if every snack god had the same idea attack them at the same time, they ran towards Vremya, stepping over each other to get ahead. Karta clicked her tongue upon seeing a familiar red figure appear at the forefront. “Darn.”

Since there was no chance of Yabloch being eaten before any other snack god, Vremya raised two fingers and pointed them at the approaching titan. It was a blob of dark tentacles, and the occasional tooth and claw protruded out from within its body. Back when he was first born, Vremya had slain many creatures of darkness; although this one was a bit bigger than average, it was nothing to worry about in his eyes. “Two Fingers Lifted, Trapped in Eternity!”

The titan froze. The second titan, which was halfway through the portal, froze as well. Vremya lowered his hand, satisfied with the result. The snack gods stopped moving and chattering. Karta rubbed her eyes with the backs of her paws. “What?” she asked. “It’s over? Just like that?”

“No,” the god of ice cream said. “Titans never come in pairs; there’s likely an army behind those two.”

Vremya snorted and walked up to the frozen titans. He picked the first one up and tossed it aside. He pulled the second titan out of the portal and tossed it aside as well. He gestured towards the portal, letting the snack gods take a look. “Who do you think I am?” Vremya asked, puffing his chest out. Beyond the portal, there was a sea of titans, all of them frozen in time.

The snack gods gasped, and most of them turned to take another look at Vremya—the few that didn’t eyed Karta instead. Karta held her head up and walked out of the crowd, approaching Vremya. “Titan corpses sell for a lot of money. Let’s”—without warning, the portal connecting the black space and the ballroom closed—“gather all…. My money! It’s gone!” She ran to the place where the portal used to be and pawed at it, but there weren’t any traces of it left.

***

A short figure stood in front of a mirror, admiring its reflection. It was impossible to see any features on its body thanks to the shadow covering it. There was a ringing sound, and a cellphone appeared in the figure’s hand. After reading the message on the screen, the figure muttered, “Vremya…?”