Master of the System

Eula sighed to herself and stared at the text floating in her vision. She had become a garrison commander, but the mission wasn’t completed, and the system wasn’t responding to her questions. It had already been six days. The system wouldn’t kill her off, would it? Was it because she had used her position as a princess to claim the spot in the army? The worst part about the system ignoring her was the restrictions on her food. She couldn’t order egg fried rice whenever she wanted. The whole thing was a scam!

“Is everything alright?”

Eula raised her head. Smith Jr. was standing in front of her, holding a tray with a bowl of egg fried rice and a plate of pickled radish. Since she couldn’t order delivery, she had to go to the store in person once more. She still would’ve gone to the store regardless as it had become a part of her daily routine, and she really wanted to be the first to try new items on the menu. “When are you making a new dish?”

Smith Jr.’s face cramped. For some reason, Eula swore the man had aged a few years. It hadn’t even been a month since she started visiting his store, but visible lines of wear could be seen on the chef’s face. She thought back to the words the system had told her. Smith Jr. was a dedicated man, always working and practicing to hone his craft. On top of the huge burden of debt on his shoulders, there was no way he wouldn’t have any worries. Eula had no idea how the chef had incurred such a vicious amount of debt, but she assumed most of it had gone to buying the guardian golem. Smith Jr. glanced at the blackboard. The number of choices really did look too pitiful. “When I sell ten thousand bowls of egg fried rice, I’ll release a new dish.”

Eula perked up. “What was that? You swear you’ll release a new dish after selling ten thousand bowls of egg fried rice?”

Smith Jr. nodded, causing Eula to beam. A strange feeling creeped up Smith Jr.’s back, and he furrowed his brow. “Of course, I have to follow the rules,” he said and pointed at the blackboard. “No discounts either.”

Eula chuckled and picked up her chopsticks. For the sake of a new dish, she would introduce her favorite spot to some of her friends. Smith Jr.’s egg fried rice really did its price justice; even though her friends might be a bit hesitant at the start, she was sure they’d be conquered by the taste. The only problem was she didn’t have many friends; however, people were always connected. If she told her friend, and her friend told their friend, a chain could be started. Perhaps a famous food reviewer would pick up the news and cause business to surge.

[Young general, you’ve done well to advance in your military career. Keep up the good work!]

[Mission: Becoming a Garrison Commander Completed]

[Reward: Vremya’s Hypnotism Method]

Eula blinked. The system was back online. A sigh of relief escaped from her mouth. From now on, she was just going to keep her mouth shut. If she hadn’t retorted against the system, it wouldn’t have imposed a death penalty on her.

[New Mission: Gathering Loyal Subordinates]

[Young general, to be an efficient commander, all those under you have to listen to your commands. Gather ten subordinates who are loyal enough to give up their lives for you. Failure to complete the mission within a month shall result in death.]

[Reward: Vremya’s Combat Techniques]

…And the death penalty was still there. After reading the mission description, she couldn’t help but wonder if she was being railroaded into becoming an evil cultivator. If the system followed any logical progression, she would use her new hypnotism technique on her soldiers, brainwashing them into loyal soldiers, and complete her second mission that way. However, she was her own person. She wasn’t going to let a wall of text control her! It had nothing to do with the fact it lied to her about delivering food whenever she wanted to eat. It had everything to do with her principles. She’d complete the mission, but not in the way the system intended her to. As for this evil hypnotism technique, what could she possibly want it for? As a spoiled princess, there was nothing she needed that she couldn’t get by asking. Unless…? If she went out and hypnotized people to buy egg fried rice from this restaurant, wouldn’t Boss Smith sell ten thousand bowls of rice in a few days? Eula sucked on her chopsticks and pursed her lips. It seemed like she’d have to give more thought into this hypnotism technique.

***

Vremya sauntered into the living room, stretching his arms towards the ceiling. The first thing he saw was Karta browsing through his personal computer whilst snickering. On the display, there were dozens of images of rivers. Vremya’s face turned red, and he stomped towards the couch while shouting, “Hey! What are you doing?”

Karta put on her best innocent expression. It wasn’t very difficult for her to do because she was a dog. “I just found a folder on your desktop, and I was curious.” She blinked twice at Vremya, fluttering her eyes. “Why do you have so many pictures of rivers? Are they special locations?”

“You tell no one about this, or I will send you into the future and do my best in the present to eliminate the crop you call a potato.”

“Tell no one about your weird obsession with rivers,” Karta said, bobbing her head up and down. “Got it. But, uh, before you blame it on me, Kosmos kind of sort of has a malicious program installed in your computer, and she probably saw everything.”

Vremya exhaled, the joy of returning from a hunting trip long gone. He still had to get the stinky dog back for that. His eyes narrowed, and he reached towards his belly button. He pulled out the glowing seed he had picked up earlier, and Karta’s tail shot straight up. Her ears and snout perked up as well, and she stared at the seed with her mouth hanging open, not caring about the line of drool coming out from her jowls. As suspected, the seed was related to Karta somehow. Vremya nodded and put the seed back inside his bellybutton, causing the Labrador retriever to jump off the couch and run towards him. “Hey! Old man! What was that? I sensed a ton of holy potato-chip power coming off of it!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Vremya said and scratched his belly.

“I’ll give you a million heaven-grade spirit stones for it!”

Vremya rolled his eyes. Just because Kosmos had given the stinky dog some pocket change, she thought she was rich. Vremya grabbed his fanny pack and flipped it over. He pulled at the flap keeping it shut, and titan corpse after titan corpse spilled out until the whole room seemed like a black void. “While you were gone, I’ve also done some work,” Vremya said. “If you want the world seed, you’ll have to entice me with something other than money.”

Karta blinked and swiped at the titan corpses in her way, opening up a channel in the dead bodies between her and Vremya. “What do you want? You want me to take pictures of rivers for you?”

Vremya grabbed a nearby tentacle and slapped it towards Karta. Unfortunately, it was stopped before it made contact with her. “River picture my ass. As you young gods put it, I have beef with Istoriya, and if you want this seed, you better help me take him down.”

Karta stared at Vremya. She tilted her head. “You want to take down a primordial god?” Her eyes widened to the size of saucers. “If you succeed, how about you let me take over his domain? I’ll be the god of history and the god of potato chips! My potato chippy goodness, if I insert potato chips into all the important scenes of history, won’t I be the strongest snack god to ever exist!?” Drool poured out of Karta’s mouth, and she wildly shook her head before wiping her paws against her face. “I’m in, old man! Let’s take down a primordial god! Who else is on board with us? Kosmos?”

“No, it’s just you and me,” Vremya said. “Also, I’ll be taking over his domain. It’s already partially interfering with mine.”

Karta scratched her head. The reinforcements were nonexistent, and there wouldn’t be any rewards, but … how many snack gods could claim to have defeated a primordial god? None! She’d be the first, and the influence of potato chips would spread even further. “Well, I’m still in! Heck, I’ll call Sush Kal and Vodor right now. I bet they’d love to join too.”