My Pick Up Artist System

Sometimes a night can be so uneventful, it almost feels like it never happened

Thats how Bens night was yesterday. After the mall, he hopped the local bars solo. However, it was slow and he didnt run into good opportunities. He managed to get a couple of numbers but nothing he was optimistic about. Yet, it didnt discourage Ben because he, like the best students, focused on the futurehis date with Katie today. He kept that in mind to stay optimistic, because well, the other hot topic in mind was his impending execution

As the timer counted down, it increased his anxiety and desperation, a fact he could only hope wouldnt interfere with his date. Its too bad I dont have time for therapy… Of course, the bigger issue is that therapists dont exist in stories…unless its to get banged by Lucifer…or dreampied by Tony Soprano…

Ben spread a helpless smile. Its tough for MCswe dont want to do crazy things, but what can you expect when no one stops to check on our mental health

At the moment, it was evening and he was walking up to the front of a book megastore near his dorm. This is it. Ive arrived to the sect library to choose my first battle skill… Even from outside, dozens of rows of books and aspiring readers were visible through the glass display. This continued for several floors. Ben stepped inside, feeling the temperature upgrade from early Autumn to room, as the light sounds of turning pages and mellow chatting tickled his ears.

He made his way through the paper landscape until he reached the escalator, which he stepped onto. Riding it up, the scenery on the second floor revealed itself to him. Right away, he glimpsed the view he came here to see–a waterfall of waist-length pink hair mantled the back of a girl poking through a literature isle.

Ben approached her. The odds of her turning around and being an ugly old woman with similar hair cant be too high right Whether its God or Satan in the writers room tonight, they should at least have better material than that

The girl turned, exposing her left cheek to Ben, displaying a star-shaped birthmark. It reassured him. Ok, its her, unless theres a reunion here for the Joestar family

Ben strolled towards her, watching her pick up and flip through a manga she picked up at random. Yes, this bookstore included large manga and anime sections, as well as a cafe, which is why he chose it, having remembered that Katie liked anime.

"Katie," Ben greeted her.

She turned around, providing a new viewing angle for Ben to notice the lollipop in her mouth. Discovering Ben, she put back the Mirai Nikki manga as a cheerful smile bloomed on her face. It surprised Ben when she pulled out the lollipop, jumped in for an enthusiastic hug, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Wait, I almost forgot, condoms dont exist in stories either…unless its a plot point. He turned pale. Damn, I should shut up unless I want that to happen…

When Katie pulled back, she put the lollipop back in her mouth, bringing Bens attention to her luscious full red lips offset by her pale skin. His eyes dilated at the sight of those large lips sucking that lollipop. Thank you Verizon for installing DSL

Then he watched her give the lollipop another suck. No, shes qualified to upgrade to broadband

Realizing hed been staring at her for too long, Ben coughed. "What flavor is that?"

She replied, "Lemon, I like the sweet ones."

Ben nodded. Taste profile generating…

The two started to chat as they strolled the manga isles, learning about each other and discussing the various works around. Bens eyebrows rose at a gradual rate as he discovered a shocking factshe knew more about manga and anime than him! "You seem to know a lot" he said.

"I should." She giggled. "I work at a manga cafe that belongs to my fam."

Ben didnt expect she would take her background to 11… "Is one of your parents Japanese?"

"Nope, dads just an otaku."

Bens expression became solemn. So this is the ancestors daughter He creased his eyebrows. I hope she isnt a secret martial arts master from an ancient familyGoing by my novels, I need to be careful because theyre everywhere

"Theres something important I gotta ask ya," Katie said out of the blue. She squared up with Ben. "Before this date gogos further, I need to make sure of something." Her body language became serious as she crossed her arms.

Ben swallowed. I think I know where shes going with thisShould I lie and tell her Im Jewish?

Katie narrowed her eyes, so narrow…that it looked like she was sleeping…

Ben held his breath. Is she a narcoleptic? …Should I wake her up?

The atmosphere became deadly silent.

In the corner of Bens eye, he thought he saw a tumbleweed roll by

It was the signal! Katies eyes opened ultra wide! Like flood gates! Like floor to ceiling space doors! She was for real now! It was super intimidating guys!

…

She asked Ben, "What do you prefer?" Her eyes once again became as sharp as triple-wielded samurai swords…"Dubs…or subs?!?"

Bens mind raced to find the safe path. Whats the right answer? I understand both sides of the argument Dubs mess up the voices but subs take away from appreciating the animation No, Im thinking about it wrong. What would she choose? He entered contemplation.

On the side, some otakus overheard the conversation:

"Her otaku cultivation is a much higher realm. Hes hopeless…"

"This junior ran into the wrong opponent. Pity, pity…"

"Sigh. The heavens are jealous of the talented…"

Ben glanced at the disbelieving audience. " I can hear you bastards! This isnt a tournament! Go away!"

Turning back to Katie, his eyes radiated enlightenment. Ben lowered his head. "Dubs or subs is it?"

He placed his hand on his face, then raised his gaze to meet hers, giving her a haughty stare through the cracks of his fingers. "I chooseNeither!"

Katie glared at him. "What is the meaning of this?"

Ben returned a slow chuckle. "Nice trybut the correct answeris manga!"

Silence radiated through the book store!

The nearby otakus gasped in unison!

A fat kids glasses cracked in one lens!

…

Katie gazed at Ben with her jaw dropped in disbelief. Yet, after a long time, she smiled. "Congratulations. Youre the first to pass the great Otaku sphinxs riddle…"

Ben wiped the sweat off his forehead. That was close. Im lucky I remembered she works at a manga cafe. Otherwise, the result could have been horrifyingsolo masturbation

After that, Katie became even more cheerful. She jumped left and right through the manga isles, chatting Bens ear off about her favorite mangas and opening up to him. Sometimes Ben would give a contradictory opinion, which she elevated to melodrama, pouting and debating him on the virtues of her favorite works and characters.

At one point, Bens mind drifted off while his hand was rummaging through some anime and he pulled out a DVD at random.

"Oh, you like that, huh?" Katie asked wide-eyed.

Ben looked at his hand. It was a copy of Junjou Romanticaa famous yaoi anime.

Bens face turned green Not good

He looked at Katie and released a nervous laugh. "My hand slipped. I meant to grab something else." He put it back in haste, and speed-walked a few steps away from the yaoi section, out of danger. He grabbed something in the new area.

Katie raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so you meant to grabTentacle and Witches?"

Ben glanced at his hand. It was a cover of a half-n.a.k.e.d girl, whose private parts were unexposed only because they were wrapped by a green slimy tentacle monster…

Thats when Ben understood he wandered into the hentai section

Realizing this could kill the date, he panicked, feeling his heart trying to break out from his chest. My only chance is to confuse her…I know! Ill use those concepts I learned in that creative writing class." With a studious expression, he turned to Katie. "Theres a lot of character development in this one. People also underestimate the thematic value of addressing the societal biases on human/tentacle relations…"

Bens body wouldnt move, but his mind was cursing at full speed. A TENTACLE WITH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?!? HUMAN/TENTACLE RELATIONS?!? What the f*ck are they teaching me in that university?!?

Katie scrutinized Ben for a long time Then, she finally spoke. "I guess I can see your point. I read Gintama…"

…

Ben wanted to cry. Gintoki! Youre my savior!