Overturned Tower

"You were born...Russell. You changed everything."

To this day, Sheath still doesn't call Russell "my son" but calls him by his first name.

Russell raised his eyebrows and raised the corners of his mouth slightly in a sneer.

He keenly caught a hint of hostility towards himself from the bottom of Sheath's heart.

Hostility toward his own son?

"What have I changed?"

He asked rhetorically: "Is it because I am a born knowing person?"

"Maybe there is some reason for this in my subconscious."

Sheath did not deny it, but said calmly: "But at the beginning, I just wanted you to think... that I am an amazing father.

"Alice and I love each other. Although she also has some admiration for me, I think it comes more from the longing for the mature opposite sex... And just after getting acquainted, I thought Alice was a Amazing people.

"My love for her is closer to a goddess than a girl. I am loyal to her, serve her, and guard her. I am just her sheath, containing her edge and protecting her body. I am hers Believers are her guardians.

"And she saw me as a mentor. In private, she still called me 'teacher.' It made me ashamed... because I didn't think I had anything to teach her. My life was meaningless, my Her talent is so low, all I can teach her is the pain that I have endured alone.

"Originally, this kind of relationship was stable. But before you were born, I suddenly felt inferior...

“What can I do compared to his great mother? Do I really deserve to be called a father?

"Do I have the right to have offspring? Am I really mature enough to educate my offspring? Are the concepts I have correct? Is the path I am walking safe enough? Can I train him to be a great person?

"--I have no idea."

The man whispered: “So I ran away…from my identity.

"I accepted the most dangerous and difficult mission. It was not because I had a heart waiting for sacrifice, nor was it because I had the consciousness to give up everything for the world. It was just because I suddenly couldn't accept... such a small thing. I actually had a child with Alice."

"So, you just ran away. So you made Alice suffer."

Russell spoke softly, his voice as ethereal as it melted into the wind, but clear and cold, like condensed ice: "So you let her abandon everything for you, and you let her suffer and die."

"That's...I was wrong."

Even though the eyes couldn't be seen, Sheath's tone was full of low and suppressed pain: "I'm too stupid... I'm a bastard.

"That was just an excuse for me to escape temporarily, but Alice took it as the truth. She encouraged me, but I was timid and wanted to retreat... She made sacrifices in order to push me forward. , giving up identity and life.

"At that time, I still had room for regret. As long as I admit that all this was just my cowardice, it was my desire to 'fly away' and escape again.

"...But I don't want her to look down on me. Although I know she won't do this."

"Just for the sake of face?"

"of course not!"

Sheath denied without hesitation: "It's just that I realized that I can't stay where I am.

"I can't become a vain person, a boring person. So far, all I have are superficial wishes, but the people I have come into contact with are all great people. They regard me as a fellow, but I know... I am just playing the role of their ideals. I talk to them about my ideals, but my heart is empty. The big words I say echo in my heart, which makes me feel ashamed.

"I'm playing someone as great as them, but I know it's all false.

"I want some of their light. I almost go crazy thinking about this. Only calligraphy can comfort me and calm my heart again.

"I read the words of all the people I admire and write them down as hard as I can. It's as if the words were my own. It gives me a moment of peace. Someone sees me as a mentor. , but I know... I just endorse it. Because I know the taboo history and steal their wisdom. Whenever someone worships me, I feel timid, guilty and painful. I have been in dreams countless times I dreamed that my friends knew all the secrets and called me a thief contemptuously. I dreamed that Alice was also disappointed in me and left me...

"And the last straw... was you."

Sheath took a slow breath.

The red lines in his eyes suddenly became brighter: "Since this life is as small as gravel——

"Then let me die.

"It's too tiring for me to live on. Everyone has deeper expectations of me, but I can't respond to everyone.

“The Pope has high hopes for me, the deer-headed statue believes that I am the pillar of the Tower of Babel, the children of the Nan family believe in me as a teacher, and Alice believes that I can change the world.

"...But I really can't do anything. The me they see in their eyes is just a shadow created by me touting myself. It's the shadow of a giant that the light projects through me on the wall.

"Then it would be better to have a great death. Not to destroy everyone's expectations... but to make everyone feel sorry when they think of my death - it would be great if he is still alive."

“You accepted the most dangerous mission of the Deer Head,” Russell said softly, “but you had no intention of completing it.

"You actually want the mission to fail, right. You want to escape from this."

"...But the mission was successful."

Sheath whispered: "I stole the church's 'artificial angel' technology and a copy of the saint's memory... and headed to the land.

"I found a crazy mage. With his help and his crude transformation, I was able to avoid connecting to the 'Sacred Code' server... because he transformed my brain into a cyborg, making my brain itself a local server……

“I obtained the power of the Holy Order of ‘Anti-Electron’—a forbidden power that is not allowed by the church.

"Relying on its power, I went to look for the dragon. Because the dragons are purely mechanical, they can be restrained and killed by the power of the Holy Order; and because the power of the Holy Order is always activated and cannot be turned off, They will never be able to see me or notice my existence.

"Kill the dragons, or control them, or get the secrets of the dragons... This is my mission. This is an effort to open the 'Lock of the World'."

Having said this, Sheath was silent for a while.

"And I did it...

"I killed a giant dragon. I got the secret he guarded."

Having said this, Sheath twitched the corners of her mouth and revealed an almost invisible sneer: "But I would rather not know.

"The end of the truth is all despair. Just like the history I burned in the church...

"Stop looking, Russell. I came here because I just heard that you joined the Tower of Babel, so I came to warn you... don't make the same mistake I did.

"Don't bear any fate, don't search for the truth, don't dream of saving the world. Don't try to open the lock... The world has come to an end, and now it's just a reprieve before the execution. Now. The probation is about to end. If you don't know anything, it will be easier.

"Just live with the people you like...but don't have any more children. At least your generation will still not be able to see the Day of Destruction. The final, truly futile death struggle should be left to the real last generation. "

"……So be it."

Sheath sighed deeply and ended his speech.